In June 2016 I reconnected with someone I loved dearly in 2009. During our six year hiatus, we both thought the other wasn’t interested in reconnecting, only to find out our love for each other was just as deep and passionate now as it’d been in 2009. For reasons basically outside of our control, we aren’t able to be together right now.
I love Sean in a way I’ve never known love before. I had no clue I could love someone with the breath and depth with which I love Sean. I had no clue how friends could find someone they were willing to commit their lives to, and stay married to, for decades. With Sean alone, I understand those feelings. My love for him is unconditional, and believe me, those conditions have been well tested. I may get momentarily angry, but it’s impossible for me to stay angry or feel resentment towards him. Our time together has never been simple or easy, but it’s always worth more than I could ever express. I accept him exactly as he is, even accepting our inability to be together right now. I believe in him as much as I’ve ever believed in anyone. He’s absolutely my equal; I’ve never felt above or below him.
While everyday I hope we’ll find ourselves in a place where we can be together, I acknowledge it might not work out. Still I’m grateful for him every single day. He makes me a better person, without having to do or say a thing. Even apart, I feel as loved and wanted by Sean as I love and want him.
I don’t know how this story will play out, but I know it will never be boring. It doesn’t matter if we have 4 days, 4 months or 40 years together, my love for Sean is the realest, truest love I’ve ever known.
Friends who knew us in 2009 might not understand this, and that’s okay.